My Consciously, unconscious mind

As a writer, sometimes there is writers block and things like this, are good to get the juices flowing.  What do I write next.  I’m taking my freedom. Living my life like its golden.  Tomorrow I will wake up with the same problem, so much to say but nothing to write.  I doubt myself too much.  These people are going to think I am crazy by the time they finish reading this.  What will I do with my hair tomorrow.  I need to wash it. I need to go to the hair salon. No I should get it braided. I don’t know what I want to do with it, I kinda love the natural too much.  LOL.  Trying to write for 20 minutes straight seemed easy before I started. only 2 minutes have gone by. What will I type about with 18, 17 minutes left.

This wine is really awesome. Maybe that is why I cant think of anything to write. Nah, just bloggers block. Will this writing thing ever make it big. I really wanna be a best seller.I really want to publish my own book too… I know both are possible but are they possible for me.  Is this what God has for me? How will I know I am doing the right thing.  I can not believe I am going to publish this with all of these typos and grammatical errors. UGH!!! My husband is sleeping while the kids are away and you would think I would have plenty of time to think and write but all I did for 2.5 hours this morning was sleep.

I wonder what my kids are doing? I’m glad they are gone, we all needed a break. My mind is all over the place. not thinking just typing. I’m hot, I know that is because of the wine. Old school Jill Scott is jamming right now. I miss music like this. I barely listen to the radio anymore, I don’t know what that stuff is they call music now.  I can hardly understand what they are even saying.  I wonder how the kids know…why do I sound like my mom and I’m only 30. Never thought I would say that about music. I remember when my I had a Ludacris cd, one of the first, the one with Splash Waterfalls on it.  It was very explicit and too mature for my teen ears but I liked rap, the wordplay. Ludacris is a lyricist. He can do things with words that amazed me at the time.  I hid the cd as much as possible until my mom found it and threw it away.  I got it from the trash and put it back up….unfortunately the next time she found it, she destroyed it first before trashing it.

I had a very sheltered teenage life.  pretty boring too.  I don’t remember being happy and being a child it feels like I have always been serious and had to take on the mature persona because I am the oldest of 5 children.  I don’t know what else to write about. My husband is awake now.  I have been working the whole time. He needed the sleep and I wanted him to secretly leave me alone so that I could write my thoughts. lol He was tired though.  so in love with you.  Now he is playing the video game. when is this 20 minutes up so I can play too. I sound like my son. I just laughed at myself and he wants to know why. LOL. I have two more drafts pending that I have been working on. I cant ever finish one before starting on another. I was writing and went to Wally World to pick up some snacks and had a thought of a new post and saved the first one only to start on the second and here I am writing a 3rd. But fortunately this one will be posted because I am not supposed to edit or anything. This is just a stream of my conscious mind.  if this is my conscious mind I would hate to see what it thinks unconsciously…time is up!


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