I didn’t begin apologizing until I started living in hell
the un-forgiveness, grudges held
didn’t do my soul too swell…
I was tired of feeling sorry but not truly forgiving,
I was tired of dying, when I should have been living.
I knew I had to let it go
it was the only way for me to grow.
but I straddled the fence
and chased my tail
tug of war, what the hell?
as soon as I would start to sprout
no rain would come in the form of congrats;
no “you’re getting better” pats on the back;
I couldn’t see the better in me
needed too much validation
but that’s when I knew I needed self revelation.
I was tired of the struggle
the war between the evil me vs the good,
the suburbs versus the hood.
Who I was, hated who I was changing into
devil on one side, angel other, what to do?
I’m sorry old me, but I have to end it here
I know you want me to stay,
because change is what I fear
but with courage I take a new road
my apologies our relationship is getting old.
1 day any longer in the state that I’m in
Will only cause me to dive deeper in sin
I hope you are not too mad with me
then again I really don’t care
if accept my apology.
Though I’m moving on I will never forget
the ways you changed me and all the time we spent
together, the best and worst of friends
So I’m sorry but not sorry
that this fling has to end.
It’s not you, it’s really me that outgrew myself,
I hope you understand that
You actually helped
me to make this decision
you drove me so insane,
in my mind was such division,
I needed to find some peace which came
in the form of letting you go
otherwise I’ll continue to waste my life and never grow.
Come to think of it,
you were really kind of a bully
always trying to force your way
but back then I didn’t see it fully
now my eyes are open and I can see
I’ve followed you for long enough
now is time for me to lead
a life of love and light
there are a few things I want to succeed
in, before I leave this earth,
I don’t know how long that will be
so again, I’m sorry
but I don’t really owe you an apology
I remember the day we first said “Hi,”
but now it’s, ‘deuces’, ‘peace’, ‘so long’,
its time we said ‘good-bye’.
cuz our time is ‘so long’ gone.
-LeToya “Penz4Lipz” Williams (C)2016.